Men, especially Black men, are told to Man Up all the time (Which is precarious). Charlagmane the God (Shook One) stated that going to therapy, which I he and I believe in it, some view it as being pusillanimous.
That's a fair point, I can tell you from the perspective of a male, it feels like everyone receives unconditional love, and we have to provide something in order to get any love back. So there's a disconnect. How do we start to see and understand each others experiences better?
to be honest i think a lot of what people are framing as a "male epidemic" are actually extremely universal experiences. loneliness, feeling like you need to be useful in order to be loved, feeling like everyone is loved but you - these are feelings that afflict people of all genders, everywhere, and are exacerbated by the conditions of capitalism more than anything else. in both personal and political matters, the healing is not in creating more separation (no one else suffers the way I do) but in challenging those very feelings of loneliness (I am not as alone as I think).
certainly men experience unique challenges because of the male gender role, as you've outlined in this post, and that needs to be talked about. but while doing so we need to be critical of rhetoric that encourages separation rather than solidarity. less like "women are loved unconditionally, men are not" and more like "women create community with each other to combat the loneliness of modern society, it's time for men to do the same thing".
Men, especially Black men, are told to Man Up all the time (Which is precarious). Charlagmane the God (Shook One) stated that going to therapy, which I he and I believe in it, some view it as being pusillanimous.
That's a fair point, I can tell you from the perspective of a male, it feels like everyone receives unconditional love, and we have to provide something in order to get any love back. So there's a disconnect. How do we start to see and understand each others experiences better?
to be honest i think a lot of what people are framing as a "male epidemic" are actually extremely universal experiences. loneliness, feeling like you need to be useful in order to be loved, feeling like everyone is loved but you - these are feelings that afflict people of all genders, everywhere, and are exacerbated by the conditions of capitalism more than anything else. in both personal and political matters, the healing is not in creating more separation (no one else suffers the way I do) but in challenging those very feelings of loneliness (I am not as alone as I think).
certainly men experience unique challenges because of the male gender role, as you've outlined in this post, and that needs to be talked about. but while doing so we need to be critical of rhetoric that encourages separation rather than solidarity. less like "women are loved unconditionally, men are not" and more like "women create community with each other to combat the loneliness of modern society, it's time for men to do the same thing".
Thank you for reading and sharing.