Been in therapy for 3 years and still processing. I understand now, those formative years when we’ve experienced the most trauma, often at the hands of our loved ones, still leaves indelible makes- worst then them switches and belts. I’m also committing to save my son the grief. I’m starting with these letters I write to him here on Substack. Thank you for your words brother.
Thanks so much for reading this post and sharing a bit of yourself with us. I'm def going to check out your substack and subscribe as well. I got into therapy because I want to break the generational curses that I inherited, so I really appreciate this.
Very nicely stated, and can we extend to include refraining from teaching our daughters that a boy who hits you likes you, and teaching our sins that hitting a girl is a display of affection? Thanks for this
Someone told my son today that the mean girl in his class just likes him. I had to correct that right away. That's not like, love, or affection, its abuse of a kind.
You are wonderful. I had a single incident where my father struck me and although it was not his intentions I fell to the sidewalk and cracked my head. It must have been dramatic enough for him to change his behavior. I used to jump over the square in the sidewall where it happened. Interestingly my mother doesn't remember it happening. We don't really have a place for dealing with anger in our society. I mean I guess there are rage rooms and axe throwing but those aren't exactly timely. Thank you for sharing.
I grew up the same way. As did my mom and her mama before her. However, I was raised as a foster/adoptee and ACS is not against spanking with an open hand on the legs and butt. It may not be morally wrong but I am a mother of 2 kids and I PROMISED I'd never lay a hand on them. Ive learned an occasional swat on the butt changes behavior. That paired with an explanation for the spanking and punishment can be beneficial. Bruises and blood is straight up abuse, no matter what the "offense". Great perspective 😊
I appreciate this perspective from a parent. I don't have kids, so I don't know what type of father I will be, I can only hope I will do right by my children.
I'm sure you will be fine because it seems like your have self awareness which is something necessary in parenting. I just think that alot of non parents (a couple friends of mine) can easily say "If I was a parent, I wouldn't do this" or " I wouldn't do that" and you don't know what you'll do until you're in it, you know?
Powerful! Thanks Stan!
Been in therapy for 3 years and still processing. I understand now, those formative years when we’ve experienced the most trauma, often at the hands of our loved ones, still leaves indelible makes- worst then them switches and belts. I’m also committing to save my son the grief. I’m starting with these letters I write to him here on Substack. Thank you for your words brother.
Thanks so much for reading this post and sharing a bit of yourself with us. I'm def going to check out your substack and subscribe as well. I got into therapy because I want to break the generational curses that I inherited, so I really appreciate this.
Very nicely stated, and can we extend to include refraining from teaching our daughters that a boy who hits you likes you, and teaching our sins that hitting a girl is a display of affection? Thanks for this
I'm with you on this 100%. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
You’re welcome, and thank you for the reminder!!
Someone told my son today that the mean girl in his class just likes him. I had to correct that right away. That's not like, love, or affection, its abuse of a kind.
Very good of him to advocate for himself, and to correct the “adult” who attempted to flip the evidence ! We really need to stop justifying violence.
You are wonderful. I had a single incident where my father struck me and although it was not his intentions I fell to the sidewalk and cracked my head. It must have been dramatic enough for him to change his behavior. I used to jump over the square in the sidewall where it happened. Interestingly my mother doesn't remember it happening. We don't really have a place for dealing with anger in our society. I mean I guess there are rage rooms and axe throwing but those aren't exactly timely. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your courage and honesty.
Thank you for making time to read this and leaving a comment!
Agreed. Abuse is wrong,but I do think spankings are a little different and some times necessary.
I grew up the same way. As did my mom and her mama before her. However, I was raised as a foster/adoptee and ACS is not against spanking with an open hand on the legs and butt. It may not be morally wrong but I am a mother of 2 kids and I PROMISED I'd never lay a hand on them. Ive learned an occasional swat on the butt changes behavior. That paired with an explanation for the spanking and punishment can be beneficial. Bruises and blood is straight up abuse, no matter what the "offense". Great perspective 😊
I appreciate this perspective from a parent. I don't have kids, so I don't know what type of father I will be, I can only hope I will do right by my children.
I'm sure you will be fine because it seems like your have self awareness which is something necessary in parenting. I just think that alot of non parents (a couple friends of mine) can easily say "If I was a parent, I wouldn't do this" or " I wouldn't do that" and you don't know what you'll do until you're in it, you know?