Short Story: F*ck Boys Shall Rise!

There's a technique to being a F*ck Boy, there's an art to being in love

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I had so much fun writing this story that I decided to make a playlist to go with it. I hope you’ll check it out.

“So what do you want?” Her pained question barely reached him; he was too busy staring at her lips. Even in this tense moment, they were drawing him in. Over the past six months, they had become a constant in his life. Full, thick, but soft like a cloud. Well soft until it was time for her to take him in, then they would curl with an unbridled saveragry he didn’t know belonged to her, Eric Fucking loved it! But this wasn’t the time to be thinking about the ways they communicated between the sheets. He was in trouble, or at least he could be. Kayla shook him out of his thoughts, “are you even listening to me?” The look of pain in her eyes made his stomach hurt. Things weren’t supposed to be playing out this way. But there was no glance he could spare that didn’t feel like a jackhammer blow to him as well. 

He was failing, “this is not how Fuck boys are supposed to move!” Eric’s affair with Kayla was always supposed to be a thing of convenience. He had an insatiable appetite, and she had thick lips, heavy thighs, and hazel eyes that hid the secrets of an actual 69 Gawdess. They connected on a breezy spring day in New York City, Brooklyn, to be exact. It wasn’t the same BK that he’d had come of age in, but no matter how much you try to drown East Flatbush in the endless waters of gentrification, the nigga shit will find a way to surface. 

Eric and Kayla met while engaging in said “nigga shit,” a basement party that promised only to serve rum punch and blast soca. They first locked eyes at the tail end of “dollar wine” she took his breath away mid-wine, her body moved with precision and freedom, it was like watching magic happen, he was almost hypnotized, but then those hazel gems caught him. She was wearing black pum pum shorts; they were fighting a losing battle to the hips and thighs gifted to her by the ancestors. Her top was a yellow “something or another.” he was too distracted by her athletic build, the Trini flag tied to her arm, and the hint of toned flesh that teased through the bottom of her halter top.  

Eric licked his lips in anticipation, “Trini’s are so hot-blooded,” he thought. They both finished their dances, so he walked over. Her partner wanted another round, but she was done with him. He could barely keep up as she moved her waist at the speed and variance she delivered, so there was nothing else to discover with him.  She walked over to the Rum punch, where Eric was; he didn’t waste any time. “Can I get a dance?” He asked, neither did she, “I don’t know, can you?” She was quick; he was in love. They each poured a cup of “Rum Punch” and started to chat; things shifted again when Rupee’s “Jump” came on. The song hadn’t even fully begun, just that first moment you heard the synthesizer, that was all it took for those hazel eyes to burn, and Kayla to float towards the dance floor. He followed. 

For the next few minutes, they took Rupee’s high-tempo song and tested each other's stamina and speed; the DJ must have sensed a battle was taking place; he glanced at them, and suddenly Rupe’s voice was fading out, and Burning Flames, swing engine replaced it. Something in Kayla clicked; she pressed against him and turned it up another gear. Refusing to be defeated, Eric planted his feet and matched her pace, whining in perfect sync; she was surprised by his ability to maintain and looked back with a devilish smile. He grabbed the back of her neck with enough pressure to be felt but soft enough for it to be a tease; they were locked in!

From there, it was a slugfest. No matter the song, they kept going. The DJ went from Tiny Winey to Faluma to Turn It Around. It felt like no matter the track or the tempo, they would stay connected. After what felt like hours of battle, the stalemate was broken with a non-Soca classic… Flex from Mad Cobra. The battle from that basement party ended in the wee hours of the morning; they were both covered in sweat but buzzing with electricity, exchanging numbers and beginning what was supposed to be a “casual thing.”

Unfortunately for Eric, “casual” could not exist between these two. Kayla had a way of lighting everything in him on fire; sure, the sex was phenomenal, but that was an iceberg in the ocean of what she brought to the table. She was funny, complicated, passionate, intelligent, honest, and giving. She did her best to show up for the people in her life, no matter what was happening in hers.

Eric found himself inspired by her, and suddenly, the boy looking for a good time slowly started to do “man things.” As much as he tried only to give her small doses, Kayla could see him, and she loved the view. Eric was sweet in an innocent way that most people grow out of; he was polite, caring, curious, adventurous, and passionate. Once he decided to do something, he put his whole heart into it, and friends, that was the problem. Kayla knew that Eric cared for her, and while he might have been telling himself something different, it was clear to her that she was the only person he wanted to be with. Still, while Kayla has swum through the rivers of her own emotions and understands everything that lies beneath, Eric grew up being told that below was an abyss that would swallow him whole if he ever looked within. After six months of passion, their infatuation and his demons have finally risen to the surface.

Here’s the thing: Eric really likes Kayla. Actually, he really really likes her, and in moments of solitude when only he and God are present, the truth rings loudly: What he feels for her has long passed infatuation; he’s in love. That truth scares him; to admit love and embrace it is to fall freely into an abyss with no destination. On the other hand, fucking until it goes out of style is safe. For one night, he can play with the darkness, cosplay emotions, and connect, all while chasing his and her orgasm. Once they have reached their peak, he can slink back to the safety of what he’s always known. He can feel like a man; he can feel important, he can feel loved, he can be safe. Or so he thought.

For the first three months of their “relationship,” Eric kept sleeping with other women, but the more time he spent with Kayla, the harder it was to replicate those feelings with other women. He tried to avoid commitment because of his fear of the void, but no amount of women could give him what he truly needed; soon, he realized you can’t fuck your way into peace; you find it within yourself.

So here we are, flies on the wall, watching these two love-sick children of the earth step into themselves. Kayla feels a trickle of sweat slide down her lower back, her heart is starting to beat faster, and she’s not sure what he will do. She rubs her lavender crystal and takes a deep breath to center herself. She wants so badly for Eric to choose love, but she’s not dumb, no man will ever make her whole. She’s prepared to leave if he isn’t willing to commit; this clarity strengthens her resolve. They lock eyes; she can see that he’s nervous; in this moment, he looks like a child; her heart clenches, and she sends him a smile and asks again, “Eric, what do you want?”

His path was supposed to be littered by the women whose hearts and backs he broke, but today, it’s clear to Eric that fate had something different in mind for his future. His throat feels dry, and his heart is pounding so fast it’s making his ears ring. He can feel the cold black water of the abyss rising; at the beginning of their conversation, it was around his ankles, but the longer this has gone on, the more the water has risen. His body feels stiff, and now it takes every bit of strength he has not to sink to the bottom forever. He feels breathless as the words begin to form; the abyss is trying to drown him, but unlike before, he’s ready to face the truth. Kayla is there, radiating warmth; her kind eyes give him the last push he needs; he takes a deep breath, steels himself, and responds with, “I want you.” Suddenly, the freezing water from the abyss is gone, everything is still, and she responds, “I want you too,” and from here begins the greatest love story of all time.