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Such a good point. Thanks for expressing this. It also takes us out of the feeling realm into the intellectual, which is painful and inappropriate.

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This is a really good point - and I may be going off on a tangent, but it's why I have such a problem with "Socratic debate" and "rational discourse" - they seek to intellectualise an issue, deliberately at the expense of human emotion, even when emotions are key to early understanding the situation. It results in an amoral stance that really just ends up in smug detachment, and is thereby a means of control.

As I said, sorry if this is completely at odds with your main point!

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I have sometimes strayed into that selfishness.

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