We Don’t Trust You: Rap Beef and the Lies We Tell Men

Competition is good for hip hop, and for reflection

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On Friday night, Kendrick Lamar popped up from his annual hibernation and turned the temperature up in hip hop circles, when he dropped a verse on rapper Future’s new project, “We Don’t Trust You.” On the track, “Like That” Kendrick dissed both Drake, and J Cole. For those of you who do not follow rap drama like it’s a sport, Kendrick Lamar, J Cole, and Drake have long been considered the best rappers in the industry, and in most circles are acknowledged as the “Big Three.” What hasn’t been agreed upon is who is better between the three of them, While Drake has had the most success in record sales, many people believe J Cole is the better lyrical/technical rapper of the two, and that Kendrick Lamar makes the better albums, and of the three, he is the only one to win an actual Pulitzer Prize for his music. 

Because of their place in rap music, there have been rumors for years that a rivalry over “who is the best '' would eventually spill over into the music. To be fair, each of them has had a verse or line in a rap that could be considered a “sneak diss,” and while no one ever responded directly, this helped to keep the narrative going. However, unlike Cole’s sly line about “Big Steppers” on his verse in “First Person Shooter” or Drakes claims of being “number one” in “6pm in New York” This moment was different because Kendrick takes direct shots at both of them and declares “there is no big three; there’s only ‘Big Me.”

With a statement like that, I just don’t see a universe where Kendrick doesn’t get a response from Drake, Cole, or both. If you know me, or have followed this Newsletter for a bit, you have an idea of how much EYE LOVE HIP HOP! and I grew up in what many people call the “golden age of rap music.” I’m romanticizing the era a bit, but it was a time when more artists were more openly competitive and cared about being considered the best lyricist, or rapper out. Modern mainstream rap has its entertainment value, but it tends to be less skill and competition focused than previous years. So the chance to hear the three best rappers of the 15-20 years spar lyrically has me hype. I might even make a separate newsletter just to unpack the responses from each artist!

As much time as I have spent on the big three, there’s another storyline in this power struggle for best rapper bubbling under the surface, and that’s Drake’s beef with Rapper Future. While most people wouldn’t credit Future as a “lyrical rapper” his impact on hip hop and music is undisputed, there is even an argument to be made that if there was a Mount Rushmore of 2010’s rap, he should be on there with Drake, Cole, and Kendrick. Future is also relevant to this because up until recently, it was believed that he and Drake were close friends. But from the start of this new album, driven by production from arguably the best producer in hip hop right now (Metro Boomin), the Atlanta Rapper has begun an all-out assault against Drake. He literally starts the album with the song “We Don’t Trust You” accusing a mystery person of “pillow talking” and being a “fake friend.” Here’s what I think is happening..

I should be clear that none of this has been confirmed, and until it has, we are speculating from gossip. But who cares, gossip can be fun sometimes! The rumor is that the two men had a falling out over a woman they were both sleeping with. Drake was apparently bad-mouthing Future to the woman during “pillow talk”, and she reported his messy musings to Future. From there, things went south. Drake referenced a friend “sleeping with his girl” in the song “What would Pluto do,” now Future has responded in all across his latest album, including Kendrick’s internet breaking verse.

If you love Hip Hop, or just enjoy drama, this saga should provide you with some good entertainment, but I want to take off my “lyrical Miracle, Hip Hop HypeBeast” hat to get serious for a bit. For those unfamiliar, Drake and Future spend a lot of their time on records rapping about the ease in which they attain women, how little they care about them, and how unbothered they are by the emotions of those interactions.

 If this music had its own genre, we would call it “Toxic Rap.” This genre is grounded in three basic principles, Fuck Women, Make Money, and Trust No One. They didn’t make this up, they were told this is what men should focus on by their friends, family and the world. Specifically society created a narrow rubric for what a man could be, and how to excel at it. I know this to be true because it’s the same thing that was told to me, and the same thing was told to many of my guy friends, and boys all over the world. For a lot of us, our value is tied directly to our ability to make money, conquer women, and hold power. 

With Drake and Future, we have two men who should be celebrated as examples of what happens when you focus on nothing but fucking women, getting money, and trusting no one. Instead we’re getting a front row viewing of why that path is flawed. I don’t know either one of these men. I'm making assumptions based on their music and public comments, but both of them seem unhappy. Over the years, Drake's projects have gotten angrier and more jaded, and Future is literally telling us he’s suffering in his music.  After years of bragging about how little they care about women, their friendship may be at its end because of one. 

The next couple of days social media timelines will be full of conspiracy theories, jokes, and hot-takes about their potential conflict. A lot of us ( I am us) will comment on Drake and Future’s toxic music and attitude towards women, we’ll laugh at their delusion, and we’ll eventually choose a side. But two of the most talented musicians of our era seem to be stuck trying and failing to live up to a failed idea.What does that say about the society that told them this is what would make them great? 

I know now that aspiring to accumulate money hand over fist, sleep with an endless number of women with no effort to know, understand or love them, and living life with no deep relationships because I don’t trust anyone is a road to destruction. But that’s only a realization I have had in the last 10 years, and everyday I run into obstacles manufactured and real that punish me for trying to be different than what society tells me. Is there a path for these two to find salvation? What about other men?  If we want different men, we have to create different options, and when men try to be different we have need to be willing to support them in that transition. If not, we’ll just have a bunch of petulant boys arguing over women they claim to not care about. All because their feelings are hurt and they don’t know how to process that.