A worthy post. I’ve seen these conversations and rants online and had my own thoughts too. Something I’ve seen happen too when men do engage in them is that we point out faults of the other person but trash behavior is trash behavior. And I think we need to address that in a real way. Let’s step through the words to see that many women really do feel this and try to be the type of men who make them feel appreciated and honored and respected and loved.
Thanks for this comment, and I agree. I also think that if we want men to be and do better, we have to create the space for that, and this is where society is struggling. I plan to write about that soon.
I appreciate you. Something in me shifts when it’s a man saying these things to other men. Inviting them into the possibility that it could be different, feel different. It means a lot. Thank you.
Thank you for reading and for this comment. Men have to see their liberation in freeing themselves from toxic masculinity and patriarchy. I hope to write in a way that reaches as many as possible.
Great reminder that when we men are interacting with women we represent and we model behavior. Little acts of chivalry and general respect can also help.
I love your article. I may be an old white lady but sometimes my grandkids, 4 boys, and my son in law get mad at me when I bash men. I don’t mean all men just white ones that think they are better. (Did I say I grew up with 6 brothers who 4 I hate because of tRUMP!) any hop you made ME think!
I agree, I cannot understand nor like the over usage of the word "agenda" especially "they have an agenda" which used to mean something. We knew who they were in the past , who is "they" now?? I cant get away from idiots saying "there is an agenda bro" about everything from women to sneakers, to playstation 5, etc.
I hope folks that need this will see this. I’ve had to censor and put to the side willingly a lot of folks who do need to see this. And I appreciate you and others who take up the mantle, meet menfolk where they are and keep it real.
Like you, I'm an advocate. I advocate on behalf of sexual assault survivors. I've found many, many men join and support me in my activism and advocacy, but at the same time, most of the harm doers that I'm hearing stories about are men, too.
I do find it interesting (and have written about this) that us women and feminist thinkers of color are so much more likely to include men in our feminism - as did bell hooks and Angela Davis; this morning I read a post from a SWANA feminist advocating for the same, etc. As women of color experiencing multiple oppressions, we also know that we have brothers that help with our cause.
Good points. If I can add, the problem isn’t just the physical violence, it’s the daily micro aggressions from relatives, colleagues, strangers, friends-of-friends that contribute to feeling unsafe around men
Why is this race neutral? Why are so many of us writing race neutral shit. This post would apply to white men. Not us. Because complaints about Black men are deeply rooted in racism.
A worthy post. I’ve seen these conversations and rants online and had my own thoughts too. Something I’ve seen happen too when men do engage in them is that we point out faults of the other person but trash behavior is trash behavior. And I think we need to address that in a real way. Let’s step through the words to see that many women really do feel this and try to be the type of men who make them feel appreciated and honored and respected and loved.
Thanks for this comment, and I agree. I also think that if we want men to be and do better, we have to create the space for that, and this is where society is struggling. I plan to write about that soon.
I appreciate you. Something in me shifts when it’s a man saying these things to other men. Inviting them into the possibility that it could be different, feel different. It means a lot. Thank you.
Thank you for reading and for this comment. Men have to see their liberation in freeing themselves from toxic masculinity and patriarchy. I hope to write in a way that reaches as many as possible.
I love what you do.
Wow bro! The way you used your personal story as an introduction to such an important, and potentially triggering, topic was elite 👏🏽
Thank you for that, I was hoping to add some humor to soften up readers for the broader message. I really appreciate this feedback!
Great reminder that when we men are interacting with women we represent and we model behavior. Little acts of chivalry and general respect can also help.
Yes, the little things go such a long way, but also, what kind of examples of manhood are we providing to boys?
I love your article. I may be an old white lady but sometimes my grandkids, 4 boys, and my son in law get mad at me when I bash men. I don’t mean all men just white ones that think they are better. (Did I say I grew up with 6 brothers who 4 I hate because of tRUMP!) any hop you made ME think!
I agree, I cannot understand nor like the over usage of the word "agenda" especially "they have an agenda" which used to mean something. We knew who they were in the past , who is "they" now?? I cant get away from idiots saying "there is an agenda bro" about everything from women to sneakers, to playstation 5, etc.
Great post, Stanley. You know this is one of my favorite topics and you didn’t disappoint.
Dope post… a lot to sit with but true when think about it
Thank you for this. I appreciate you.
I hope folks that need this will see this. I’ve had to censor and put to the side willingly a lot of folks who do need to see this. And I appreciate you and others who take up the mantle, meet menfolk where they are and keep it real.
Thank you Homie! It's a difficult conversation to have but a necessary one.
Thank you for this piece.
Like you, I'm an advocate. I advocate on behalf of sexual assault survivors. I've found many, many men join and support me in my activism and advocacy, but at the same time, most of the harm doers that I'm hearing stories about are men, too.
I do find it interesting (and have written about this) that us women and feminist thinkers of color are so much more likely to include men in our feminism - as did bell hooks and Angela Davis; this morning I read a post from a SWANA feminist advocating for the same, etc. As women of color experiencing multiple oppressions, we also know that we have brothers that help with our cause.
Good points. If I can add, the problem isn’t just the physical violence, it’s the daily micro aggressions from relatives, colleagues, strangers, friends-of-friends that contribute to feeling unsafe around men
Why is this race neutral? Why are so many of us writing race neutral shit. This post would apply to white men. Not us. Because complaints about Black men are deeply rooted in racism.
It's race-neutral because Patriarchy and toxic masculinity are race-neutral. Men of all racial identities do it.