Rape and Sexual Assault for Dummies (Men)

A lot of people (MEN) seemed to be confused at what rape/sexual assault is, allow me to help you understand.

Image Source: Planned Parenthood

I think it's fair to say that most men are not in support of rape. If there was a menu of activities that you could do on a day off, and Rape/sexual assault was one of the options, you wouldn't be going out of your way to pick that. So yeah, we all agree that it's bad, right? Good, well.... not exactly. Despite the overwhelming number of men in the world who do not support sexual assault, and would not actively try to rape someone, the number of women being raped by men isn't going down. Actually, more women are reporting sexual assaults than ever.

Since you are all good men, who aspire to protect, respect, and not rape/ assault women, I'm sure you want to find a solution to this problem. Well, guess what? The problem is us. Despite our best efforts, and well-meaning intentions, men are still raping women, and instead of finding a way to train men on how not to rape, we blame the women, or give advice on how not to look "Rape Friendly."

After hearing another rant from someone who thought women could avoid being raped by "Not being so fast" and "not hanging out with rapist" I had an epiphany. What if the reason, so many men are still raping and assaulting women, is because we don't know what rape is? If that's the case, I could help reduce the number of assaults happening by simply making a list of things that should and are considered rape/sexual assault by federal laws, and people with common sense/decency.

I'm sure I'll miss a few, but I think this list covers a lot. Feel free to add stuff as well, it's never a bad thing to give people more clarity. With that in mind, read below for a definitive list of things that if you do, are rape.

• Have sex with an unconscious person

• Force someone to have sex with you.

• Drug someone and then have sex when they are barely coherent

• Have sex with someone that did not verbally consent

• Have sex with someone that didn't say no, but also didn't say yes.

• Have sex with someone who is not of legal age

• Have someone when someone is sleeping.

• Have sex with someone who consented affirmatively, but in the middle of the act, they ask you to stop and you don't listen.

• Have sex with someone who consented, but in the middle of the act, you do something without getting consent and continue despite their protest

• Use your position to get sex from someone

• Demand Sex for perks or promotion at work.

• Try to have sex with someone be rejected, and continue to make unwanted advances pressure them until they finally concede.

• Blackmail someone into having sex with you

• Force someone to provide oral sex on you

• Perform oral sex on someone without their consent (Yes, that is rape)

• Threaten violence if you don't get sex

• Threaten someone's job or housing for sex.

• Touch, rub, or grab someone's genitals without their permission or consent (Charges vary depending on where you live)

I'm sure someone who is a lot smarter and has a couple of degrees in this kind of stuff could probably give you an even better list, and a lawyer could probably break down the severity of each of these crimes, but we could avoid ever having to find out by not doing any of the things listed above. If you're still confused, the best way to avoid raping someone "By Accident" is to get their consent. If you're still confused after all of that, visit this website. And remember kids, consent should always be enthusiastic, and not coerced. Hope this helps.