I’m not going to hold you, that headline was a hundred percent clickbait. There is no such thing as a “formula for getting a woman to submit.” Submission is for pet ownership and wrestling, not people. Don’t get me wrong, it is possible to be in a relationship with someone who will “submit” to you, but more often than not, the one desiring “submission” is using unhealthy, and abusive behaviors to get it. If you’re comfortable following in the relationship footsteps of Floyd Mayweather, Harvey Weinstein, and R-Kelly, then go off, but I can't help you. However, If you want to find the love of your life, a healthy relationship with someone who treats you right,  or someone who will at least text back, I got you. The list below is a full-proof system for building relationships with love, affection, and mutual respect. 

• Be emotionally present: In my opinion, this is the hardest one, because for as long as I have been alive, people have told me that “men shouldn’t feel.” This is bullshit. Men, like women, are HUMAN BEINGS. That means we feel joy, pain, sadness, frustration, and dejection like any other person. Emotions are not a weakness; it is your heart and body responding to different circumstances. Those emotions can influence the way you perceive things and react as well. I spent a big chunk of my life trying to ignore my emotions, instead choosing to push through with sex, alcohol, and violence. It doesn’t work. While you’re trying to ignore those feelings, they find other ways to manifest. If you don’t take the time to embrace, and understand your emotions, you will be unable to feel, and if you don’t know how to feel, you can’t honestly give, or receive love. 

• Be Her Partner: I’m not sure who sparked this, but there is this idea that a woman needs a man to “lead” her in a relationship. I have heard a lot of men complain that their partners are resistant to them “leading” or that “black women don’t let their men lead.” Despite what the ashy personalities in the Podcast Industrial Complex may tell you, women do not need us to lead them anywhere, they can take care of themselves. Think about it. This idea that women are so helpless, that they need a man to take charge of everything isn’t just silly, it ignores the fact that we (men) don’t know everything. Actually, most of us don’t know shit. That’s not a bad thing, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing on most days. What I do know for sure is that the best and healthiest relationships are the ones grounded in mutual respect and partnership. 

There will be things that you are good at, and things that she is good at. Learn to appreciate each other's strengths, and find a relationship flow that works for both of you. Some women are happy to take the backseat and let you lead the way, but you better provide for all of their needs. Nobody is gonna submit to a dude making minimum wage and still living with his mom. No woman is going to submit to a “king” with roommates, bad credit, ashy elbows, and a mattress sitting on the floor. 

• Listen to her: Encouraging you to listen to the women in your life doesn’t mean that I believe you, or any man is too stupid to make their own decisions. Secondly, this isn’t a suggestion to blindly follow all of the whims and desires of the person you are dating. Listening to your partner means actually paying attention to the things they have to say, pay attention. Give your partner the same kind of attention you would give one of those NBA 2K tutorials. The more you listen, the better you will understand her, and the easier it will be to respond to her needs, understand how she is feeling, and develop your relationship. I know this advice might sound silly, but so many of us get into relationships and try to create the fake ass images we see on social media. 99% of that stuff is fake, and the only way you can grow with your partner is by being present, and getting to know them. If you’re a good listener, and you genuinely care about what she has to say, even if you don’t always agree, it will reflect in the ways you engage with her, and trust me, she will notice.

• Be Accountable: No matter how good of a person or partner you are, you will mess up. Trust me, it's inevitable. If your partner approaches you with a challenge in the relationship or brings up something that made her uncomfortable, first listen to what she is actually saying, and then when she is done, acknowledge and apologize. If you don’t think you did anything wrong, that’s ok as well, but acknowledge her feelings, and explain your intentions. If she needs space, give it to her. If this one makes you uncomfortable, that’s ok, I get it. Being told by a person you care about that something you did may have caused them harm is never easy to receive. No one enjoys causing pain, and for some of us, when we are confronted we may get defensive. If your girl is willing to have a conversation with you about something that bothered or hurt her, it means that she cares, and wants to find a resolution. If you are committed to being with this person, you should take her concerns seriously and make an honest effort to rectify that harm. Sometimes it’s as simple as apologizing, on other occasions a change in behavior is needed. Be open and willing to do what's necessary to heal and build. 

• Never Forget that Women are People too: That’s right, they are living and breathing human beings with their own thoughts, ideas, wants, needs and desires. This means, that as much as we might have an idea of who and what we want them to be for us; they are under no obligation to respond to our requests or projections. I hope this goes without saying, but you should treat all women with respect, whether you are sexually attracted to them or not.

• Bonus: Be Thoughtful- This one isn’t hard at all, it just takes a little effort. Being thoughtful looks like giving her the last slice of pizza, or making sure she has her favorite snack when you’re going out. Think about how it makes you feel when someone does something for you, and you didn’t have to ask. Help her get that feeling too.

Relationships are challenging, but the best ones are grounded in communication, honesty, accountability, and respect. If you are willing to communicate clearly and with love, be honest and accountable, while also respecting her as a person, your queen will bless you with the softest love.