New [Trump] Rule in The Bronx!
Or - [insert your area]
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Homeland Security Secretary Kristy Noem was testifying before congress about the Trump admin’s deportation and detention policies. She was asked by Senator Maggie Hassan “what is Habeas Corpus.” Her response was: “Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.”
The Senator cut her off and said that’s not the definition, and upon further review, Secretary Noem still could not define the basic legal principle from Law & Order. The leader of Homeland Security who has the concept of Habeas Corpus, due process, every day integral to her role concerning the legal standing of people in the US and how they will be treated in response to terrorism allegations, cannot define the mechanism that protects them, and supposedly, is a hallmark of America’s principles.
But I also realized, if I put her answer on a quiz at PS95 it would be wrong.
And in High School, if I put many of these Trump answers on a quiz, they would be so wrong that I would get the Mr. Y, my old Digital Electronics teacher, policy of “under 20 and you get a farm animal drawing our of your grade.” I once got a 13 on an exam that was a giraffe.
I’m tired of that discrepancy. We can’t have words mean nothing, especially coming from the highest office.
If that’s how the Homeland Secretary defines Habeas Corpus, then that’s the definition now.
I have a friend who teaches kids in public school. He said his students were hearing from his parents Trump is the man. So he said. “Ok, I’m gonna print out some transcripts.” They read his speeches. No YouTube. No IG comments. No Tik tok stitch, Rogan interview cut. Just what the man says.
They read them and realized they were nonsensical, basic, and dry.
The class’ opinion started to shift.
So let’s be consistent. Keep the rules consistent for this administration, and all administrations so we all on the same time. Let’s write them all down, as rule of the land, and see how we feel. Here’s just a few:
Habeas Corpus: President Trump’s right to detain and deport people who he disagrees with.
Hurricane Trajectoris: The principle by which, permanent marker can be an official indicator of a category whatever hurricane at the pleasure of the president.
Gangs and Photoshopus: The principle by which any rando’s photoshop becomes a tattoo of gang affiliation.
Mf that is ARIAL Locker room talkus: The principle by which, as sanctioned by the President of the United States, after-game/gym locker room talk is guys discussing grabbing women by the pussy
Tariffius: The principle by which taxes on other nations will make Americans more money, even if we lose money and is sponsored by ChatGPT
Factis Alternativus: The principle by which the factual events are susceptible to change if you don’t like them. E.g.: it’s both possible it rained and did not rain in the same place yesterday. It’s both possible Jim from State Farm is really Janelle from West Farms, and it is also not possible.
Winning: Whatever sounds like a good bedtime story for White America, frequently leaving them and their family worse off.
What are other new, future History Regents answers and societal answers for our children and the future of this country? Write any additions in the comments. This will be a running list. It’s our new constitution after all.