I appreciated the depth and vulnerability you displayed by unpacking what has been at the root at your need to be liked — abandonment — and how that correlates with not only Drake, but most men who never confront the issues they mask through performance.
To your point, I found Iceman to be deeply interpersonal. I connected with the level of vulnerability Drake showed that went beyond the heartbreak of a romantic relationship that went sour. It made me want to give him a hug.
I also agree that even the most braggadocio and ego-centric men deserve the love and acceptance they so desperately seek. However, it’s far too often that they lash out on women/partners when they don’t feel seen, heard, or valued.
I found the question you posed at the end of your piece, “Do men truly know who they are beyond performance?”, powerful and thoughtful provoking. It’s my hope that more men will develop the courage to confront the rawest, purest form of themselves — and then do the work to heal.
I enjoyed reading this! I'm a longtime J. Cole fan, and I appreciate his ability to show weakness and accountability.. something I felt was lacking in Iceman. But "Make Them Cry" was truly impressive, and I felt like I heard from Aubrey after so long. Anyway, I never ended up hating Drake even after the battle, because I feel it's up to us to interpret and learn from his art, however flawed they may be.
"Do men actually know who they are outside of performance?" - that's a very important reflection point. As a feminist, I genuinely hope everyone won't be scared to be vulnerable and share learnings with each other to be better, without judgment.
Cole fan here as well. I have enjoyed Drakes music but could never make the transition to calling myself an actual fan because of his inability to show real vulnerability, he’s got a ways to go, but I thought this album was a good sign
This is a great take and honestly a take I wish more people would have. When I listened to it off of first listen I wasn’t a fan then I had some favs but off that first listen what I was able to take away was damn.. this really hurt him. People are going to say whatever because it’s Drake but to see people say he shouldn’t be allowed to speak on something that happened,surrounded, and was about him is insane knowing how much humans love to beat the dead horse. I think it’s ok to give him grace for the simple fact he is not the worst nigga we know in his industry nor is his audience. I mean people till this day will tell you straight to your face they will go see R Kelly live in concert after it came out he was a serial pedophile and abuser. So I think it’s less about the battle and more about the outcome. People were expecting Drake to no longer be Drake they were expecting his title to be stripped and I think that’s what fuels the hate post battle. He’s now learning lessons that the money and fame shielded him from earlier in his career. He’s always adapting but now he has to evolve and I feel like with these 3 albums this is his foot in the door with that. It’s the pre-game. It’s serving as a bridge. I think what we need to worry about is what’s to come after this. After the accountability, growth, introspection, and shadow work. I am a Drake fan but any real fan of anything knows how to keep shit 💯 and unbiased!
Yes, this is so spot on. Thank you Zaria! Personally, I think there are two big turning points in Drakes career. His tone got darker and less vulnerable after his battle with Push. This battle with Kendrick is another big turning points. I’ll be interested to see where he goes
Time will tell where he goes and what he does next. In some ways, I think he's challenging the the idea of what it means to be fulfilled as a man. A modern day Dionysus — creating the meaning of life that he raps about and living a life that is just as fulfilling, opposite to what see from Kendrick or even J. Cole.
He brought flashes of vulnerability to get some stuff off his chest before his next move. Maybe it's not performative. This is who he is. He is happy and happy to do it alone if he has to. Time will tell now that he is going independent.
I think artistry vs. self can be difficult for people to separate and I'm not entirely sure if it's possible. Great artists typically give more of themselves within a performance or album than we realize.
Love how the very clear frustration you feel comes through in this essay. I’ve been there with men, the push and pull of witnessing deeply felt emotions juxtaposed with a desperate need for reflexivity and accountability. Enjoyed this.
“The things we were once told made us men are now being described as abusive, toxic and harmful, and many of them are, but you must understand how shattering that must feel to us, when this is all we have ever known.”
This one gave me pause and a bit more sympathy than I expected. It’s true. It’s fair.
Loved your analysis of Iceman, Stan!
I appreciated the depth and vulnerability you displayed by unpacking what has been at the root at your need to be liked — abandonment — and how that correlates with not only Drake, but most men who never confront the issues they mask through performance.
To your point, I found Iceman to be deeply interpersonal. I connected with the level of vulnerability Drake showed that went beyond the heartbreak of a romantic relationship that went sour. It made me want to give him a hug.
I also agree that even the most braggadocio and ego-centric men deserve the love and acceptance they so desperately seek. However, it’s far too often that they lash out on women/partners when they don’t feel seen, heard, or valued.
I found the question you posed at the end of your piece, “Do men truly know who they are beyond performance?”, powerful and thoughtful provoking. It’s my hope that more men will develop the courage to confront the rawest, purest form of themselves — and then do the work to heal.
Thank you for this comment and for reading the post!
I enjoyed reading this! I'm a longtime J. Cole fan, and I appreciate his ability to show weakness and accountability.. something I felt was lacking in Iceman. But "Make Them Cry" was truly impressive, and I felt like I heard from Aubrey after so long. Anyway, I never ended up hating Drake even after the battle, because I feel it's up to us to interpret and learn from his art, however flawed they may be.
"Do men actually know who they are outside of performance?" - that's a very important reflection point. As a feminist, I genuinely hope everyone won't be scared to be vulnerable and share learnings with each other to be better, without judgment.
Cole fan here as well. I have enjoyed Drakes music but could never make the transition to calling myself an actual fan because of his inability to show real vulnerability, he’s got a ways to go, but I thought this album was a good sign
This is a great take and honestly a take I wish more people would have. When I listened to it off of first listen I wasn’t a fan then I had some favs but off that first listen what I was able to take away was damn.. this really hurt him. People are going to say whatever because it’s Drake but to see people say he shouldn’t be allowed to speak on something that happened,surrounded, and was about him is insane knowing how much humans love to beat the dead horse. I think it’s ok to give him grace for the simple fact he is not the worst nigga we know in his industry nor is his audience. I mean people till this day will tell you straight to your face they will go see R Kelly live in concert after it came out he was a serial pedophile and abuser. So I think it’s less about the battle and more about the outcome. People were expecting Drake to no longer be Drake they were expecting his title to be stripped and I think that’s what fuels the hate post battle. He’s now learning lessons that the money and fame shielded him from earlier in his career. He’s always adapting but now he has to evolve and I feel like with these 3 albums this is his foot in the door with that. It’s the pre-game. It’s serving as a bridge. I think what we need to worry about is what’s to come after this. After the accountability, growth, introspection, and shadow work. I am a Drake fan but any real fan of anything knows how to keep shit 💯 and unbiased!
Yes, this is so spot on. Thank you Zaria! Personally, I think there are two big turning points in Drakes career. His tone got darker and less vulnerable after his battle with Push. This battle with Kendrick is another big turning points. I’ll be interested to see where he goes
Solid take, Stanley.
Time will tell where he goes and what he does next. In some ways, I think he's challenging the the idea of what it means to be fulfilled as a man. A modern day Dionysus — creating the meaning of life that he raps about and living a life that is just as fulfilling, opposite to what see from Kendrick or even J. Cole.
He brought flashes of vulnerability to get some stuff off his chest before his next move. Maybe it's not performative. This is who he is. He is happy and happy to do it alone if he has to. Time will tell now that he is going independent.
Realizing I need to finish listening to all three albums before I comment. I’ll come back to this.
It’s so much music. I could only commit Iceman
I think artistry vs. self can be difficult for people to separate and I'm not entirely sure if it's possible. Great artists typically give more of themselves within a performance or album than we realize.
I think you’re right. Thanks for your comment.
Love how the very clear frustration you feel comes through in this essay. I’ve been there with men, the push and pull of witnessing deeply felt emotions juxtaposed with a desperate need for reflexivity and accountability. Enjoyed this.
That’s truly how it felt writing this, thank you for noticing and reading!
“The things we were once told made us men are now being described as abusive, toxic and harmful, and many of them are, but you must understand how shattering that must feel to us, when this is all we have ever known.”
This one gave me pause and a bit more sympathy than I expected. It’s true. It’s fair.