It is Sundress Season Once Again--Your Annual PSA Because MFs Forget How to Behave

Embrace the beauty of the Sun's Dress w/ respect; do not (cat)call mama in nature.

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Gents, the season ‘tis upon us. The one where the single men flock to the streets to show off their timb AF1 plumage for companionship like a mf dipset peacock.

But unlike our zoo brethren, we must contain ourselves. We must respect our fellow ladybirds. We must only show feathers WHEN prompted.

(Please, do not, in fact, whistle at her)

Yes, I am talking about Sundress Season. The famous slice of NY summer that has created many a meme—about NY’s (or insert your city where people actually walk) most beautiful women wearing one of fashion’s greatest creations.

Gentlemen, we have thoughts. And we have a distance between those thoughts and words and action. We must be distance champs. Embrace that distance. And then put a brita filter between that mf.

Because as many a therapist has said: thoughts are just thoughts. It is boys, especially the ones who ate the kit-kat bar in two full bites, who automatically combine those thoughts with actions. And as our Gospel (Paul, not the Wall) says: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” Let us not be a child. We must retain our affection—even when the sundress and wind mix n’ mingle.

Women can have your admiration mentally. The God of Sundresses, Lord Dyckman, will understand and hears you. Women really do not need this admiration to take verbal form—and most certainly you are not entitled to the response of your preference.

Men, I implore you to understand: there is a difference between making conversation and making noise. Catcalling, along with being rude, is part of street harassment; it is the verbal misdemeanor parallel to a nuisance complaint. It does very little. It certainly does not separate you from the countless other men calling her: fineee, YO BeeeutiFUL (insert way to refer to human woman) in that D-REss; baddie, etc.

Therefore, you are basically just demonstrating you have little self-control and blurt out thoughts.

Now, I understand you may have heard some women enjoy unsolicited ‘compliments’ being yelled at them on the street. Yes, this is true. Some women also still listen to Tory Lanez, who shot Megan Thee Stallion. Some women voted for Cuomo for mayor, who assaulted 13 women. Some women think the non-spicy chicken sandwich from Popeyes is ooohh this is too spicy. Choices are made; preferences exist. That being said, the best way to operate to offend and cause discomfort for the fewest women, maybe a noble goal for all gentlemen, is to operate as if she didn’t wake up to have her body be a walking comment section.

‘BuT if sHE DoeSnt WanT ComMentS wHY DId shE drEss that waY.’

Because she can. Because it’s hot. Because she’s hot. Because she likes to feel sexy. Because maybe she expects the men who admire her to be adults about it who keep their admiration as thoughts and respectful glances. And IF they say anything, for it to be a quick, non-sexual, non-threatening compliment—and to keep it moving. Not leer, stalk, and/or bark.

Remember, the sundress isn’t speaking to you—not literally. If it does metaphorically, let’s meet that with a metaphoric response, a retained naughty thought. Keep the poetry going. Don’t interrupt it with a Funk Flex byem byemmmmmm of CHEEKS WILD THO.

Essentially Gents, the game is simple:

Remember, women are human.

They deserve humanity at every step of the way and every hour of the day. Just as we do. They are our equal, our beautiful equal.

The Sundress is not for your entertainment. But if you are entertained, be entertained — alone, this is a natural reaction. But if you learned to read to yourself as a boy in school, you can keep thoughts to yourself outside as a man in these streets.