In 2013 at the tender age of 26, I was fired from my job for being “too white.” That’s confusing, I should explain, but I won’t. If we’re friends outside of the internet, and you want the full story, we can grab a drink and I’ll give you the confusing details. Anyway, this experience, while bizarre was the first moment that I realized how absurd politics could be. After spending my late teens and early 20’s watching the liberal porn of “West Wing” I entered the political space expecting that all elected officials and their staff were bushy-tailed and bright-eyed idealists looking to make a positive change.

There are spaces like that, just like there are people who are true believers and are working hard to make a difference. Unfortunately, there also seems to be an overabundance of empty suits, narcissists, and placeholders with power. And if I’m being honest, there seem to be a lot more of those types of people these days. With time on my hands, a desire to tell stories, and inspiration from Issa Rae’s “Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl” I decided to create my own web series.

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“Confessions of a Sucker 4 Love” was supposed to be a comedy that told the story of a 20-something, love-sick millennial trying to make it in New York. It was written by me, Directed by my good friend, Cody Ann Palmer, and starred rising star, Anthony Walker. We hoped to make a show that talked about love from a man’s point of view, while also spotlighting the difficulties of being a person of color navigating the non-profit industrial complex.

I’ll be honest, I still think a general concept is good, and if things might have been different, this could have taken off. We had an incredibly talented Black woman as our Director/Showrunner, a young but funny team, and we were all excited about what we were making. What we didn’t have was money. To be fair, we also didn’t have a consistent place to film, anyone on the team with experience in script writing ( I know how to write, but writing a script for a show is very different), or anyone to help with editing (Cody literally had to do it all), or a clear understanding of how to format a show. So yeah, we were missing a lot of things. Despite this, we were able to create a few really cool scenes, and if you put it all together, I would even argue an episode or two.

Eventually, the extreme lack of time, resources, and know-how (Mostly on my part) prevented us from completing the project. Despite this, I’m really impressed with what we were able to do, and will forever be grateful, to our team for investing in my work and bringing it to life. I’m excited to share this project with you guys and let you take a little peak into the unorganized but hopeful mind of 25-year-old Stanley. Spoiler alert, he was all over the place.

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