Everybody is a Leader Until it's Time to Lead
Our Country is in a dark place, the people we have trusted to lead are too busy blaming others and gaslighting to be accountable. How did we get here?
The last six years have been extremely challenging for me, professionally things have been going well, and personally there aren’t many things I can complain about, but politically, I have felt conflicted, adrift, and deeply frustrated. The election of Trump didn’t show me that racism existed, I’m a Black man, and my entire life has been defined by white supremacy. But as aware of it as I have always been, it was a wake-up call to how far we actually needed to go. And if I’m being deathly honest, it forced me to re-assess my relationship with white people. If I and others did the hard work of education and reconciliation, is there a path towards our collective liberation, or have we gone too far down the rabbit hole, and white rage is the best we can do?
While Trump made me question everything, there was one saving grace and that was my trust and faith in humanity. No matter how bad things got, I could always count on the fact that humans were inherently good, and didn’t intentionally wish to do harm to each other. I believed that we fall short of our better selves from fear, ignorance, and an inability to engage honestly, but with a little work, and a lot of empathy, we could get there. Then came the pandemic. Covid 19, and our collective response (Or lack thereof) did more than Donald Trump, or the complete uselessness of the Democratic establishment to shake my faith in humanity.
During a time when information was scarce, but lives were at risk, It was important for us to come together as a country, and make changes/take precautions that would help us get through the nightmare that was the Winter and Spring of 2020. Instead, Trump spent months trying to downplay the virus, while bullying agencies to withhold information about deaths. Elected leaders across the country, used it as an opportunity to build their profiles, and corporations took advantage of the housing insecure. This took place as millions of people lost their jobs, over a hundred thousand people died from the virus, and our country was damaged in a way that I’m not sure we can come back from. It’s been two years since the country shut down because of COVID. Despite everything, we went through in 2020, and all of the lives lost, it feels like our government doesn’t care to step up, and everyone else is too exhausted to try.
I have thought long and hard about what led us to this point, and if I had the time and energy to pummel you with 5000 words, I would give you my full analysis. If I ever get a chance to write in the Atlantic, I’ll do just that. To keep things simple, I want to focus on one thing, and that is what I believe to be a complete absence of leadership.
To be clear, there are plenty of people in positions of power, and there are even more people who you or I could point to as “leaders.” President Biden is the “leader” of our country, Kyrie Irving is one of the “leaders” on the Brooklyn Nets, and Donald Trump is the “leader” of the Republican party. They have the title, but if you look at their track record, and how they show up or disappear when things are difficult, it’s hard, at least for me to say they hit the mark.
We should be fair, leadership is hard, I know this from personal experience. I am currently in a leadership position at my organization, and I fail more often than I succeed in being the type of person I believe is necessary for the moment. But if Biden, Trump, Kyrie, and I are only cosplaying as leaders, what does a real leader look like? The answer is sort of complicated, but also straightforward because while some of being a leader is what you do, and how you show up, a much larger piece of it is how you view your role, and the personal work you are willing to do.
To be in leadership above all else is to be of service. True leaders don’t get to proclaim themselves as such, they are chosen. And sure, some people can talk loud enough, or position themselves to be perceived as leaders, but very few people with the humility, skills, empathy, and range to take on that role can be found in the frey of shouting voices. Some leaders can choose themselves, the best leaders are tapped by their peers.
When a community of your peers, neighbors, colleagues, friends, or family identifies you for this role, they aren’t just giving you a title, they are putting their faith and trust in you, and are hopefully committing to do the work necessary to support your success. Your power is grounded in the trust of your peers, it is the most important capital you have. Good leaders are constantly doing the work to check their egos, which means fighting the need to center themselves so that they are able to listen to others, even when it doesn’t feel good.
Leadership is realizing that you don’t know everything, so you should always be listening, and looking to learn. It’s being comfortable with not being the smartest or most qualified person in the room, and being happy to uplift others to help us achieve our goals. And finally, leaders live in constant conflict, it’s nice to be liked, but good leaders understand that sometimes, or more often than not, you will not be.
This brings me back to some of our examples of leadership. We are currently in a world where the people who have been entrusted to lead are unable to rise to the occasion. We (the leaders) are unwilling, or sometimes afraid to tell the truth, we are afraid to make unpopular decisions, not because we’re wrong or ill-informed, but because it will impact our relationships and the way people perceive us.
Too many of us remain silent because speaking out will impact relationships, we allow tensions to smolder because we’re afraid of conflict. We want the crown, but not the responsibilities. Too many leaders, myself included are too infatuated with our own inflated egos, so instead of doing the work of listening, learning, and leaning in with the people who trusted us, we build walls to block off those who we decide are “Unworthy”
Our entire political landscape is overwhelmed by people who want to be called leaders, have the title, receive the accolades, and expect the deference of leadership, but refuse to lead, or if they do take on the mantle they focus their energies on holding power through force, transactional relationships, and abuse. While that happens, those who trusted us with this title are suffering. There is an opportunity to shift our trajectory, but a radical change must be made. It starts with the person in the mirror.
Enuff Seh!
Always on the money, sir!